Disorganized Attachment, RAD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and other mental health dynamics that are deeply tied into someone’s personality and/or thinking can make any and all criticism feel like…
- Emotional Reasoning is a type of Thought Distortion people should avoid.
- If we all went around thinking what we felt was THE REALITY, it would be one big mess.
- It’s important to be able to decipher reality from you what you are FEELING.
- I’m all about validating all the feelings, but THINKING with your feelings isn’t a great strategy.
Validation, Validation, and More Validation
Again, validating how someone feels, whether or not it sounds like something Angelina Jolie would have said in Girl Interrupted, is extremely important. Allow people the space to work through their feelings in a reasonable and safe way, don’t immediately shut it down because it sounds crazy to you.
Honestly, after processing and talking it out, people usually can figure out that they went “In The Zone.” Regardless, how they felt is HOW THEY FELT. It doesn’t need to make sense to you for you to validate them, remember that.
After people develop their Emotional Intelligence and insight, they can start to see their inappropriate emotional reactions coming, acknowledge them, but never actually pay them enough attention to act them out.
Thats Jedi level skills bruh!
Thoughts Versus Emotions
Cognitions aka Thoughts are an entirely different matter. Think about it this way. Feelings are like opinions, where as Thoughts should be rooted in fact.
Facts are facts, they don’t change and are rooted in an agreed reality or experience and most importantly, they are objective.
Feelings on the other hand are individualized, subjective and personal and change from person to person and experience to experience.
I’m a huge advocate of validating all of the feelings and doing my best to see where someone is coming from. However, I do not cosign reality and fact bending crazy. Once you move into the zone of trying to manipulate facts, events, or the way something has progressed.
People aren’t settled when they don’t have a sense of Emotional Congruence. This can get even more problematic when someone is willing to manipulate facts and reality to make their outside match what they are feeling on the inside.
Take a second to think about what they may look like in your life? Have you been on the receiving end of a reality bender attack or maybe you are dealing out the bending?